Maid of Honour? Pengapit? Whatever you call it lah!

Sorry for the long hiatus. I am saying sorry to myself as I'm probably the only one aware of the existence of this blog anyway.

So, fast forward to the recent month, I entered the professional world. Yeay! After years of studying, I finally get to work as an adult, though it is a bit later than others of the same age. Alhamdulillah. Better late than never, right? The feeling? I am still adapting to the world full of competition among colleagues, in healthy way I mean. Not that I need to betray anyone or even use my own small fist to climb the ladder. I am cool, okay? Haha. Still trying to love my current job. 

Back to my headline of post, I'll be ranting about my recent duties as Maid of Honour, in other word, the best woman (does the term even exist?), both to my primary school's friends. One thing I will say here is I am suck at this. I cannot tolerate on the etiquette of being the 'manager' to the bride though. It is just not my style. With those makcik-makcik's looks and stares lagi, urghhhhhh. So, I'll summarise my findings and hope if anyone happen to read this, please convey the message to the society, especially the bride and the makcik.

1. Never wear skirts or dresses or veils with length further than your feet unless you don't mind to get them dirty.

OMG. This one should have OMG emphasis. My plain mind just don't understand how these makcik-makcik think. Are you aware that I'm holding the umbrella or even the kipas? So if I am holding both, how do you expect me to pegang that extra length of kain? Hell NO. I am pretty sure the skirt/dress/veil is made to such length to sweep the floor. It supposes to get dirty, okay? Kalau tak nak kotor, pengantin, please jangan pakai kain meleret. It is clearly not your pengapit's duty to take care of your kain. Dah siapa suruh pakai kain meleret. Kan susah nak jalan. Plus, the rombongan yang mengiringi pengantin ketika bertandang, kalau dah nampak pengantin berbaju meleret jalan, tak payah la nak himpit rapat. Grrrrrr. Kang terpijak, salah siapa? Pengapit jugak sebab nanti makcik-makcik akan cakap, "Kenapa pengapit tak jaga kain pengantin?" Grrrrrr. Salah aku pulak la pengapit nak tersadung. Pengantin yang pakai kot. Maybe korang rasa macam aku ni pengapit useless, okay I take the blame. I won't blame my bride. But, please la masyarakat, get the fact right, okay? Those kain meleret bukanlah untuk dipegang oleh orang lain. Kain tu layak menyapu lantai. Tapi, kalau dah nampak tahi lembu, tak payah nak sapu jugak. Angkat la. Solution paling simple, designer tak payah buat kain meleret (tak boleh pon kan sebenarnya dalam agama), pengantin pon tak payah nak mengada pakai yang meleret tu. Tak kuasa okay nak jaga kain untuk korang sebab nak tutup mulut makcik-makcik yang extra risau korang tersadung bagai sebab kain tu orang pijak or kotor, okay?

2. Tuan rumah pon layak duduk di meja pengantin lebih-lebih lagi yang memang buat satu majlis je

Okay, get the focus here 'lebih-lebih lagi yang memang buat satu majlis je'.  Dah kalau satu majlis je, matter pulak tuan rumah tak boleh makan sekali dengan pengantin masa sesi makan beradab? Gila apa? It is the memory that shall be created with both parties kot. Bukan selalu anak tu kahwin and makan beradab. Tak kan la tuan rumah tak boleh join? Mak bapak kot. And please la family member pengantin, just to ease the ceremony, could you just cooperate with the liaison personnel to go to the high table in case you are invited? Tak payah la cakap "tak kan akak kot?" Grrrr. Who are you at the first place? Kakak pengantin kot. Dah ada extra seat, makan je la. Susah sangat eh? You know, masa bertandang ke rumah pihak lelaki ataupun bersanding di rumah perempuan, both parents are eligible to sit at the high table. If tuan rumah memang insist and cakap siap-siap from the start (ni yang memang dah manage properly and ikut style masing-masing) tak nak makan beradab di rumah sendiri, then fine lah. Mak cik pak cik yang lain, tolong jangan bising eh? Tak kan la tolong jaga booth kat entrance majlis untuk setengah jam pon nak berkira? Kata adik-beradik. Kerjasama la sikit.

3. Pergi bergambar bila orang dah ajak mula-mula

Kalau ikut trend majlis kahwin zaman sekarang, selalunya ada DJ. Kalau tak de DJ, someone must be there to assist on this matter. Orang dah ajak kot awal-awal, jom pergi bergambar kat pelamin, pak cik mak cik dekk je kan? Lepas tu bila dah ramai nak ambil gambar pengantin, pak cik mak cik kena tunggu, tahu pulak nak marah. Sampai tiga kali buat announcement panggil merenjis dan bergambar kot? Oh please la, nak buat muka pulak sebab kena tunggu eh? Orang dah ajak awal kot. Nasib baik la saya jumpa pak cik mak cik sekali tu je. Lepas tu, tuan rumah pon tolong take turn and know your priority in treating pihak yang bertandang please? Dah tahu tuan ruamh, tak payah la nak ambil gambar dulu dengan pengantin. They are at your place kot, nanti lepas sesi fotografi dengan yang bertandang selesai, tadah la muka sampai lebam dengan pengantin. Apa? Sebab takut nak tinggal entrance lama-lama? Then, cepat-cepat la ambil gambar. Tak payah la time tu la baru nak cari saudara mara yang duduk dekat khemah masak, dalam rumah etc etc. Aih.... Tak faham.

4. Tell your pengapit where should she stand

Okay, yang ni memang salah aku 100%. Al maklumlah tak de experience. Blur memanjang. You know, dulu-dulu kerusi pengantin dekat pelamin macam satu-satu, and ada space la kat tepi untuk pengapit berdiri. As in, it is clear that pengapit can stand next to bride and groom. But, as the trend and design evolves from time to time, kerusi pengantin sekarang ada yang jenis the long curve bench, and I HATE it.  Where on earth do you expect me to stand and kipas you? Dah kata curvy, tak kan la pengapit nak berdiri depan pengantin. In my personal opinion, rasa macam cacat je. So dah jadi serba salah dah. Diri jauh nanti tak boleh kipas pengantin, dah panas. Nak diri dekat, takut mengganggu frame pulak. Aiseyh...

Walau apa pon perancangan anda, make it simple. Jangan complicated sangat. Pak cik mak cik jangan  nak meriah sangat mulut tu nak bising-bising. Dengar dek orang macam saya yang sangat fragile ni, terus hilang mood. Apa-apa pon, selamat dah dua orang kawan kahwin... Aku? Chill je la. Nanti sampai la masanya kalau memang dah tertulis di Luh Mahfuz. Gitu....