Raya dan kahwin dan soalan cepumas

Kalau dah masuk musim raya, mula lah start orang nak ajak makan kenduri kahwin diorang. Sampai satu hari tu, dua tiga kenduri kena attend. Kalau lah aku berkereta, nak jugak rayau semua kenduri tu. Nak pinjam kereta family and bawak kereta tu sendiri, memang tak kan lah mak aku nak bagi. Dia sanggup drive kan jauh jauh dari bagi aku drive sorang sorang. Tak percaya katanya. Hurm... Tapi kang kalau bawak, aku yang rasa bersalah tiba tiba mak aku tersisih bila aku gelak tak ingat dunia dengan rakan taulan yang turut sama menghadiri walimah tersebut. Apa apa pon, I am happy that ibu is willing to take me here and there. At least, ibu boleh berjalan. Tak lah duduk rumah je kan.

Raya kan sebulan. So every weekend tu ada je aktiviti makan. Dalam beraktiviti makan tu, ada juga lah orang yang suka menyibuk tanya soalan soalan cepumas ni. Soalan yang korang sendiri sedia tahu. Bila nak kahwin? Bila nak ada anak? Bila nak tambah anak lagi? Bila nak kerja? Bila nak habis belajar? Hurm....

Secara jujurnya, aku malas nak jawab soalan bila nak kahwin tu memandangkan aku single dan tak de calon lagi. Soalan tu macam pressure plak. Dah la kengkawan semua ada yang dah beranak pinak, aku ni pulak 24 and single. Mula mula macam don't care jugak, tapi bila tengok gambar-gambar dekat laman media sosial, timbul rasa cemburu. Siapa tak nak kahwin weh? Memang la dekat mulut cakap tak nak kahwin la, tawar hati la, tapi jauh di sudut hati, aku ingin gak disayangi seadanya. Tapi, bila fikirkan indahnya saat berkahwin, nightmare aku pasti datang. Sebab tanggungjawab sebuah perkahwinan tu amat lah besar. Kalau tak kena gaya, boleh karam weh. Hari pertama pasti indah, tapi bila anak pertama lahir, time tu la semua ujian datang. Ni semua aku just observe sebagai orang luar je lah. Pandangan dekat tentang hidup anak buah aku and juga cerita-cerita mereka yang lebih makan garam tentang kehidupan. Duit ke mana, anak ke mana, masa ke mana, ibadah ke mana. Allah... Ujian tu Allah datangkan bagi mereka yang mampu menghadapinya, kan? Semoga kita tabah...

Maybe Allah tak datangkan jodoh aku lagi sebab aku maybe masih belum bersedia untuk memikul tanggungjawab tersebut. Apa apa pon, aku hanya mampu berserah dan berdoa agar Allah pertemukan aku dengan suami yang mampu membimbingku ke syurga. Takut juga dengan realiti sekarang. Aku yang tak berapa nak baik ni, macam mana lah jodoh aku tu nanti kan?

Dengan soalan bila nak kerja pon menjadi satu masalah jugak. Aku ni dah la pelik sikit. Dah habis degree dah, and degree tu dipanggil master. Lepas tu, aku sambung lagi another master. Sudahhhh... Soalan seterusnya is, lepas ni nak sambung phd pulak ke? Aihhhhh. Kot la aku ni CEO Petronas, boleh jugak aku jawab. (maybe CEO Petronas pon tak berapa sedar situasi aku. LOL). Aku ni sambung master sebab orang tu offer nak masuk drilling department ke tak. Tu je. Boleh je nak decline and tunggu offer kerja department lain. Tapi, aku malas dah nak menunggu sebab scholar petronas ni macam dah dianak tiri kan. Entah bila kala pulak aku nak dapat next offer. So aku accept la untuk sambung master. InshaAllah lepas habis master yang ni, aku masuk lah kerja. Tang bab phd tu, kalau petronas suruh, boleh jugak. Tapi kalau dia x suruh, aku pon tak ingin heh. Tak tau la, kot ingin plak nanti, aku accept la kalau ada opportunity tu. Boleh duduk oversea lagi sekali. Hehe.
Sorry lah kalau liku hidup saya ni membuatkan anda curious pulak. Hihi.

So masyarakat sekalian, kalau musim raya tu, baik cerita pasal makanan je kalau kau tak de soalan selain dari tanya bila orang tu nak kahwin nak anak nak kerja bagai. Sesungguhnya topik makanan itu lebih enak didengar. Kalau nak cam hiruk pikuk sikit, cerita pasal drama tv ke, kenangan masa silam ke, isu semasa ke, apa-apa je lah yang boleh bagi orang selesa. Setiap manusia pasti ada masalah dan reason mereka sendiri. Tak perlu lah jadi burung belatuk, memecahkan wall of privacy orang.

Sekian dari yang tengah berangan nak pelamin cantik tapi rasa membazir.

😀

Women. Career or family?

Recently, one of my best friends once asked me to write on this topic. But, I said I was quite busy with assignments and stuffs, which is true. At the same time, while dedicating myself to do the never-ending assignment, I also procrastinate. Hence, this post is written.

When people are grown up, the conversation topics becomes more serious, and complicated. We come to a point where every thought and view is crucially examined in holistic perspective.  An argument grows bigger and branches to next arguments, so the comment thread becomes longer in-line. Everyone in the group converses with their individual points, so do I.

I just texted my senior who was also my not blood related sister. She was very dear and we opened up to any sort of conversation. Like today, we talked about her new life as a mother. She was, at one point felt a huge burden in completing house chores while dedicating herself as a mother to a newborn daughter. It came to her anger when the husband just had his rest after coming back from work. Guess what I think, he is not the only one who acts like that. I think most of men would just sit and relax once they reach home. But, one thing to realise MEN, you are not the only who got tired. With your wife dalam pantang, plus kena jaga anak, masak, kemas rumah semua, she is more tired than you. So, TAKE NOTE! Now that the maternity leave is over, she has to continue teaching and the husband is working on the ship at the ocean. What I can do far from here is to pray for both of them. I hope my sister can be strong in this obstacle.

A woman is really a super human (I know this is exaggerating). I am not sure if you have watched a video about this job interview or not. In that video, the interviewer described the job scope, but he also stated that the employee would not get any pay check. None of them figured that the job described was the work of a mom, who would take care of the welfare of the household. Yet, a mom would do it diligently at her best.

With advancement of the technology in this world, the social needs are also changed. People would want to have the best of everything, in term of career and personal development. Same goes to women. Women nowadays would demand to be in a high rank position, be it in the company or even nation wide. Everyone is in hunger for acknowledgement, therefore he or she is trying to get better and receive higher salary.

However, for a woman, how high you are going to be ranked socially, you are not exempted to be ranked in the family. The responsibilities of being a career woman and a mother are two different fields of task. This act reminded me of a strong woman I met back in Warwick University. She came all the way from Malaysia to talk with us, Petronas scholars in an engagement session. After years of having hardworks as an engineer, she finally decided to change her department to Human Resources just for the sake her family. Being an engineer made her a busy woman that she had less quality time with the family. Though the pay of being a technical expert is so much higher than being non technical department, she is willing to give up that. She prioritises the family first. She inspired me on how she managed to succeed in both equally important worlds. I wish I will do the same in future if the time comes. 

But since I am neither a wife nor a mother, I guess, I will keep climbing the career ladder till I find what I really want to achieve. Of course, through the right way la. Not that I want to tergedik-gedik dengan boss, so that boss favours me and naikkan my pangkat just like that. I don't fancy such strategy to be honest. If I am deemed fit to be there, I'll be there. If not, I'll make my own way to get the best for my own self.

NB: post dah lama jadi draft. Tak pernah habis. Now dah bosan. Tak tahu nak tulis apa. Sambung this post pon macam tak de idea. Haha.